Seeing double

On July 17, Jared and I had our first appointment for this pregnancy. I was so excited that he got to be there and was so nervous for the week leading up to it. I just couldn't wait to see that little heartbeat and my tiny baby.
We decided to leave Brooklynne with my in laws just in case something wasn't quite right. She is also very protective over mama and I didn't think she would understand someone poking all around on me. So Jared and I made the drive just the two of us and I made nervous small talk the whole time.
We were finally called back for our ultrasound. My anxiety was at an all time high and then we saw the little one and the beating heart. I was more than delighted. I could breathe.
Jokingly, I then asked " there is just one in there right?" My doctor said yes and then moved ever so slightly and BAM... There was another precious baby with another sweet beating heart. It was all too much, tears filled my eyes and I peeled my eyes away from the screen to my husband who had the most shocked face I have ever seen. We all just laughed.
When we came out of the ultrasound room all the nurses were smiling and congratulating us since they had heard the squeals. We walked out in a haze and sat in the car trying to figure out clever ways to tell our family.
The drive to my in laws felt never-ending, we just couldn't wait to share the news. And watching everyone's face as they looked at the ultrasound pictures and realized that they were looking at two babies was absolutely priceless and something I will never forget.

My Miracles

Finding out that I was pregnant with my second baby was the most shocking and happiest day. We had been trying so hard and for so long for this little one that when I saw the test turn positive I just couldn't believe it. If you are trying to conceive and having a difficult time seeing a negative test becomes the norm, though it hurts so badly every time.
After receiving some pretty negative news from some blood work I had done about ovulating I had been feeling pretty beat up, defeated and alone for a couple of weeks. I was letting myself stay in a dark place because I thought the idea of us having more children was going to be just that... An idea.
One night at one of my sister in laws houses I began to open up to a couple of them about it and the reality of our situation. They came and prayed for me around the kitchen table with their hands on my stomach. In that moment I just felt lighter. Not necessarily like I would get pregnant but that I would be okay no matter what. Driving home I told Jared about it and we talked about it all because I had been so numb.
The next few days with a renewed hope I began to call my doctors office to see what the next step would be. Unfortunately, for several days they were busy and unable to get back with me. Finally I decided to just try and make an appointment. A nurse got on the phone with me and was apologetic about everything and asked me to take another pregnancy test and then they would order a round of medication for me. I was annoyed. I had taken pregnancy tests! I didn't want to go through another negative test.And who said I wanted more medication!? I went to the store got a test and put Brooklynne down for a nap. I went and took the test and instantly... Positive! Tears instantly streamed down my face. I thought this was impossible. I just sat there and stared at it. Jared was at work and I had thought of all the cute ways I was going to tell him that he would be a father of two in the time leading up to this point but none of that mattered now, he had to know right that minute. I called him and through all my tears he somehow understood that our family was going to be growing. When he got home I went out and got more tests because I just never get tired of seeing that positive result.
I have thought a lot about why everything happened the way it did. Normally I would take tests even when I knew there was no chance I could be pregnant. I wouldn't have called the doctor so persistently because that's just not in my personality. A ton of little things like that. But I think about the journey that my heart with through, the stretching that I had to do, a renewed faith in God and I know that it was all for something.
And to my second (and third) little one, I love you so very much. Your daddy and I have prayed for you for so long and we are overjoyed to have you as a part of our lives. You have already taught your mama so much.



This post was written before I found out I was having twins, I just wanted to remember every moment an lesson through out this journey.

Sisters

Growing up I desperately wanted a sister. It would be my birthday wish as I blew out my candles and my prayer at night. I have two older brothers who I appreciate much more now but I just felt like there was no way for them to "get me" when I was growing up. I wanted a sister that I could tell all of my secrets to and talk about boys. Someone who's clothes I could steal and would straighten my hair in the back. I just wanted that bond.
I was the baby of the family and never got that sister, however, God did something pretty amazing. I fell in love with a wonderful man who loves his family and happens to have seven of the most awesome sisters anyone could ask for. They have taken me in and truly been sisters to me. They are the ones I call with good news and the ones that will pray and be there for me in sad times. They are so much more than I could have even imagined a sister being.