Finding out that I was pregnant with my second baby was the most shocking and happiest day. We had been trying so hard and for so long for this little one that when I saw the test turn positive I just couldn't believe it. If you are trying to conceive and having a difficult time seeing a negative test becomes the norm, though it hurts so badly every time.
After receiving some pretty negative news from some blood work I had done about ovulating I had been feeling pretty beat up, defeated and alone for a couple of weeks. I was letting myself stay in a dark place because I thought the idea of us having more children was going to be just that... An idea.
One night at one of my sister in laws houses I began to open up to a couple of them about it and the reality of our situation. They came and prayed for me around the kitchen table with their hands on my stomach. In that moment I just felt lighter. Not necessarily like I would get pregnant but that I would be okay no matter what. Driving home I told Jared about it and we talked about it all because I had been so numb.
The next few days with a renewed hope I began to call my doctors office to see what the next step would be. Unfortunately, for several days they were busy and unable to get back with me. Finally I decided to just try and make an appointment. A nurse got on the phone with me and was apologetic about everything and asked me to take another pregnancy test and then they would order a round of medication for me. I was annoyed. I had taken pregnancy tests! I didn't want to go through another negative test.And who said I wanted more medication!? I went to the store got a test and put Brooklynne down for a nap. I went and took the test and instantly... Positive! Tears instantly streamed down my face. I thought this was impossible. I just sat there and stared at it. Jared was at work and I had thought of all the cute ways I was going to tell him that he would be a father of two in the time leading up to this point but none of that mattered now, he had to know right that minute. I called him and through all my tears he somehow understood that our family was going to be growing. When he got home I went out and got more tests because I just never get tired of seeing that positive result.
I have thought a lot about why everything happened the way it did. Normally I would take tests even when I knew there was no chance I could be pregnant. I wouldn't have called the doctor so persistently because that's just not in my personality. A ton of little things like that. But I think about the journey that my heart with through, the stretching that I had to do, a renewed faith in God and I know that it was all for something.
And to my second (and third) little one, I love you so very much. Your daddy and I have prayed for you for so long and we are overjoyed to have you as a part of our lives. You have already taught your mama so much.
This post was written before I found out I was having twins, I just wanted to remember every moment an lesson through out this journey.
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