I have mentioned here before that we are trying to have another baby. Due to irregular cycles it is a little bit harder for Jared and me than the average couple. A few weeks ago I tracked my ovulation and had everything down to the day. I was feeling hopeful and at 3:30 this morning I jumped up to take what I would hope to be a life changing pregnancy test... Only one line appeared and my heart quickly broke into a million pieces.
I crawled back into my bed and couldn't hold back the tears burning behind my eye lids. In the next few moments I felt so many emotions. Angry, sad, shocked, guilty... Just broken. Jared being the rock that he is just held me and let me cry. He knew what I needed. He was quiet only moving to wipe my tears every so often. When I was finally able to pull myself together I asked him to pray for me. So we laid together and whispered prayers thanking God for what we have and declaring that we still choose to have faith in Him and his timing even in trying moments.
Afterwards, I truly felt like a weight was taken off me. I'm sure I will have moments when I will feel that broken feeling again but I am choosing to praise God despite any of my circumstances. Instead of allowing all of those negative thoughts to flood my mind to decide to pray first. The pregnancy test didn't give me the result that I am longing for but maybe it is going to be "life changing" after all; "life changing" in the way that I won't allow a result or circumstance to dictate my joy and that I choose to praise Him in happy and joyful times or sad and dark times.
And if you just stumbled upon this blog and need someone to pray for you please contact me. Prayer changes things, I promise. I still may have the same negative result but after prayer and time with God I don't have the same shattered heart. So, no matter what the need is contact me and I will pray for you.
Thanks for reading,
Amanda
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